Sacrifice
by Agnes Stewart
Summary: This is the story of Scout's life after the start of World War II. With Jem gone and Dill distant, how will she cope? JemxOC ScoutxDill Maybe some CecilxScout
1. Chapter 1

1941, Maycomb County, Alabama

As I walked into my snug house, I could hear the radio blaring in the living room. "Hey Jem," I said as I headed towards the kitchen, tossing my 18-year-old brother a quick glance. He was hunched by the radio, listening intently. He didn't respond. I sighed, but continued on my path to the kitchen.

"Hey Cal," I said, sitting down on a stool. "Bit chilly, isn't it?"

"Yes Scout, out of season for Maycomb, certainly," Calpurnia replied, dicing up herbs for the chicken. That winter, December to be exact, I was fourteen years old. I still preferred overalls instead of dresses, but Aunt Alexandra would have none of that. Dresses were to be my frilly prison. I could still hear the radio.

"Jem!" I shouted, sticking my head out of the kitchen door, "Turn that down please." He ignored me. Angrily, I walked over to him, then, hearing the words the reporters said, I froze in place.

"Pearl harbor has been bombed by Japanese planes," the reporters voice said. "The United States is at war."

"Jem?" I asked hesitantly. Looking up at me, he seemed to understand to question I couldn't bring myself to ask. He nodded, his brown eyes conveying his melancholy. He was going. Jem, _my brother_ Jem, was going to war. I couldn't help the tears welling up in my eyes. "No Jem! No!" I was stomping my foot like a little girl, a stupid girl.

"Scout," he said, coming to me. He enveloped me in a warm hug, and I let out all my tears on his chest.

"Why do you have to?" I inquired.

"I'll be drafted Scout. I've got to," he replied simply.

"Atticus had to defend Tom Robinson, but that wasn't the only reason he did it," I countered.

"I just…" he stopped.

"Come on," I prodded him.

"I just want to do something, help."

"You can help here! Please Jem, I don't want to lose you," I pleaded, biting my lip to keep from sobbing.

"You won't lose me," Jem comforted me, holding me tight. "I'll be back soon, as soon as it's over." After my sobs had settled down, Jem added, "we can write." The yellow walls of the room seemed to be pressing down around me, suffocating me.

"I'll go too," I whispered.

Jem laughed. How he could be so brave I never understood. "Go on back to the kitchen, tell Cal." Wiping my eyes, I ran back to get Calpurnia, telling her the news. "God Almighty," she muttered, "Bless the dear boy."

We spent the rest of the afternoon quietly. Aunt Alexandra was at Mrs. Merriweather's and Atticus was at work. Jem read the paper and I flipped through _The Monastery_ by Sir Walter Scout, as Jem called him. Jem…

Atticus walked through the front door and I ran to him. I hugged him, trying my hardest to hold in tears. I never remembered a time when I had cried so much. "Son?" Atticus asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes sir. I'm going," Jem replied, slowly folding up the paper, a habit he had adopted from Atticus.

Atticus nodded briskly, but I could see fear flash in his eyes. Looking down at me, he managed a smile. I didn't believe it for a second.

"Atticus, can I go for a walk?" Jem asked.

"Of course."

"Can I go too?" I asked.

"No-" Atticus started, but Jem stopped him.

"Sure Scout." He pulled on his jacket and, handing me mine, sprinted out the door.

"Where're you going?" I asked once I had caught up with him.

"Eleanor Drigger's house," he said, and I smiled at him. He blushed. Eleanor and Jem had been dating (I guess you could call it that) for a year now. He always told her how he would marry her; just drop by one her front steps one day with a ring. I thought it was sweet. When we arrived in front of the small brick house, Jem went up the stairs, two steps at a time, and knocked on the door. He stepped back a foot and clasped his hands behind his back. Jem whistled an old tune, while a mockingbird, up high in a tree, imitated him. After a few seconds, a pretty girl with braided brown hair and attentive blue eyes opened the door.

"Oh Jem!" she cried, throwing her arms around him. Their lips connected and I quickly looked down. It could hardly be proper to invade on a personal moment such as this. Once they had pulled apart, Eleanor asked, "So you're going?"

"Yep," Jem replied. "I've got to," he broke in, when he saw her beginning to protest.

"But Jem!" She looked over to me quickly. "Hi Scout!" she greeted, then, realizing what I had just seen her do with my brother, she blushed.

"What time is it?" Jem asked, examining the dark sky.

"Six."

"Oh. We gotta go. Attics will want us to be getting home," Jem said. They kissed once more, and then Jem began to take me home.

"Why do you have to go?" I asked again. I could tell the question was starting to annoy him.

"Some things you just don't understand," Jem said. I hadn't heard him say that in quite a while.

/

What do you think?


	2. Chapter 2

Jem was to leave us in January. Though it was as if he had all ready gone; he was withdrawn and didn't talk often. Atticus told me he was just trying to sort things out and it was best to give him some space and some time.

One windy evening in late December I lay in my bed, my blanket wrapped around me as if it were a shroud. I heard the door to Jem's room creak open and shut quietly and soon he was by my side. Sitting up, I asked, "What's wrong, Jem?"

Before I could even comprehend it, Jem was crying. I went to kneel beside him on the floor, whispering comforting words. "I don't want to leave," Jem whispered.

"It's all right," I said, sounding braver than I really was. "You'll be a hero! A hero, Jem!"

"Don't want to," he murmured. "Scout? What if my arm breaks again?"

"It won't," I whispered, but I hoped it would. Anything to get him back safely.

"Okay," he said, swallowing a lump in his throat and wiping his eyes. "Can I sleep in here tonight Scout?"

"All right," I said, and made room for him. He got into the bed beside me as I put some covers over him.

"If I was Boo Radley, I wouldn't have to deal with this," he whispered, before turning over and falling asleep.

Bewildered, I shrugged before sleeping too.

I woke up the next morning and Jem wasn't there. All I saw was the light streaming through my window. "Damn," I muttered and put on a blue dress with a white sash tied around my waist. I quickly ran a brush through my hair and bolted downstairs.

"My, Scout," Atticus said as he saw me. "You're up mighty early for a Saturday."

"Saturday?" I asked, shocked. Jem laughed into his coffee mug. "I thought it was…" I sighed and ran upstairs. I changed into my overalls and returned to the dining room. Aunt Alexandra looked up at me disapprovingly but then returned to her needlework. I ate my breakfast quickly and then went out to sit on the front steps. The chill of the previous night had vanished with the sun's always triumphing rays. Seeing Cecil Jacobs and his sister Virginia, I asked went to the door and called to Atticus, "Can I go for a walk?" His response was in the affirmative. I ran out the door, stopping for only a second or two to grab my brown jacket.

"Cecil! Virginia!" I cried as I tore down the street after them. Cecil turned around and stopped, waiting for me.

"Is Jem going?" he asked. I knew full well what he meant.

"Yeah. How 'bout your daddy?"

"Yeah. I think Mr. Walter Cunningham from Old Sarum's going too," Cecil said as we strolled along.

"Hey Virginia," I said, receiving a polite nod in my direction. She was a proper young lady; I had little to no chance of getting along with her. "But," I began, turning back to Cecil, "what'll happen to Walter? Who'll help him on the farm? Will he still go to school?" The questions flew out of my mouth with no possibility of being stopped.

"Woah," Cecil said, chuckling. Suddenly subdued, he said, "I actually have no idea," his concern for the Cunningham boy was visible.

"Can his Mama help him?"

"Doubt it. I heard my Mama and Daddy talkin' 'bout how the women will go work in factories in Montgomery to help the war effort. And make some money. Virginia and Mama'll be going." He pointed to his older sister, who was obviously not thrilled at the prospect.

"Oh," I said, "that's good. We need more women in the workforce."

"Well, Miss Jean Louise," sneered Virginia with mock respect. "You aren't the one who will be going."

"Hush up Virginia," Cecil said, elbowing his sister in the ribs. She let out a defiant, "Humph".

"I must be going," Virginia said, spinning around to face the direction of her home. "Mother will be needing me to help with dinner. Good afternoon Jean Louise."

Once Virginia was out of earshot, I said, "She hates me."

"No, that's just Virginia," Cecil reassured me.

I sighed. "Cecil, I'm scared," I confided in him.

"Of what?"

"About Jem. He's going away."

"He'll be fine," Cecil said. "He survived Bob Ewell and Boo Radley!"

"Cecil, that's kid's stuff. Boo doesn't want to hurt anyone," I said.

"How do you know?" Cecil said, cackling.

"I don't," I said. How I wanted to tell the whole story! Just to see the look on his face! I said goodbye and headed on home.


	3. Chapter 3

_~Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light.~_

_The Call by Regina Spektor_

Jem was crumbling. Jem, who was always brave, my childhood hero. As the day of his departure grew nearer, Jem began to sleep till eleven in the morning and hardly spoke to anyone. When I was near him, I could tell his cold demeanor was a mask meant to hide his fear.

I never consulted Atticus on the matter, but I went to Jem. "Jem?" I asked, cautiously knocking on his door. "Can I come in?" I heard a muffled reply and I opened the door. He was lying on his bed, reading a football magazine. The position was so familiar I almost felt like a fool to think anything was wrong with him.

Then I looked at his face: his eyes were bloodshot from crying and his nose was running. I rushed to him, hugging him tight. "Scout!" he cried, shoving me off of him. "Leave me alone!' Since we were children, Jem had grown taller and stronger… a lot stronger. He roughly grabbed me and pushed me out into the hall. Unprepared, I crumpled to the floor with a weak yelp. In response, the door slammed and I could hear the lock sliding shut from the inside.

When had he gotten that lock? I didn't remember him using it before. I remained on the ground for what seemed like years. I was dumbfounded, too much so to cry. Atticus was the one who found me and helped me to my feet, leading me to the living room.

"You got to stop pestering Jem," Atticus said. When he saw me preparing to argue, he added, "He'll tell you what is on his mind as soon as he has sorted it out himself."

"I just want to help him, Atticus, before he's… gone," I explained. The word _gone_ left a lump in my throat, which I promptly swallowed with a sickening gulp.

"Don't worry Scout," Atticus consoled me. "Just keep your distance. Play with Cecil Jacobs."

I laughed at his last comment. "Cecil Jacobs! He's a fool," I grinned.

"You never know. He may turn out nice, just get to know him." I decided to consider Atticus's offer.

. . . . . . . . . . .

I sat out on the porch steps, dreamily looking up at the stars. It was the night before Jem's departure, and he had had Eleanor over for dinner. After the pair and Atticus had retired to the living room to discuss sports and politics, I had come out to the porch.

I heard the front door open and shut, interrupting my musings. "When this is over, Eleanor, I promise, _promise_, I'll marry you. No matter what. I mean it. I real-" he was interrupted as her lips connected with his. I couldn't see them, I just knew. Normally I would find it gross, but I decided my brother should be able to get by without a lecture from me, especially on his last night in Maycomb County. I could hear Eleanor descended the front steps, with sweet whispers of "I love you." After she was out of sight, I could hear Jem's footsteps coming towards me.

"Scout?" he sat beside me, taking my hand in his. "I'm sorry. I've been mean, right?"

"s'okay," I whispered.

"No it's not Scout," he said, squeezing my hand. "It's not like I'm dying! You can blame me for things. Jeez, you're all acting like I'm dead! I ain't!" Suddenly he hushed his voice. "Do you think I'm going to die Scout?" His eyes were serious, as serious as they were when he heard Bob Ewell's footsteps in the dark, when he heard the verdict of the trial. This was no different than those times.

"No," I said firmly. "No way Jem." He looked up at the stars. I followed his gaze across the heavens.

"Scout, I have this for you," he said, handing me Boo Radley's pocket watch.

"No Jem," I said, gently pushing his hand away. "It's yours."

"Keep it safe for me," he whispered. I silently accepted it. "Anyways, I've got my good luck penny. I'll carry it in my pocket. Can you please do the same with yours?"

"'course Jem," I whispered. "I promise." He smiled, and ruffled my unruly brown hair, like I was a child again. And really, I felt like one, so weak and helpless. "Jem," I began out of the blue, "what's been on your mind?"

"Just how I'll be missing you all back here. I've been wondering how to make sure you all still remember me."

"What?" I asked. Jem was making no sense again. "How could we forget you?"

"I phrased that wrong," he said, and thought of another wording. "I've been thinking of how to make myself feel like I'm not too far away from you all. Like home is just around the corner." From my face, Jem could still tell I didn't understand. "Look at that star right there," he said, pointing to a small flame in the sky. "You and I look at that at the same time, from across the world, and it'll seem like I'm not that far away."

I was about to argue about this logic, but he stopped me with a desperate plea, "Please Scout, let me have this." I nodded and hugged him tightly. This time, he did nod hide or push me away, but his arms enveloped me.

"It'll be like you're just around the corner," I agreed. "Following the light home."


	4. Chapter 4

_This is the moment I stand here all alone_

_With everything I have inside, everything I own_

_I might be afraid _

_But it's my turn to be brave_

_If this is the last time before we say goodbye_

_At least it's the first day of the rest of my life_

_I can't be afraid _

_Cause it's my turn to be brave_

"Brave" by Idina Menzel

I awoke the next morning at six o'clock. Remembering my conversation with Jem, I smiled. But then realization struck me; Jem would be leaving today. I put on a dress, a blue one, and tied a white sash around my waist. I quickly pulled on a pair of white flats and grabbed my good luck penny before rushing downstairs. "Good morning Jean Louise," Aunt Alexandra said fondly, no doubt pleased at my appearance. "You look lovely this morning."

"Thank you," I said quietly, before settling into my chair. Atticus entered next, lost in thought, though he still absent-mindedly greeted us. I sat quietly, looking expectantly at the door I knew Jem would soon enter through. We began to eat our breakfast, but I kept glancing up every few minutes waiting for Jem.

"Hey," he said, leaning against the doorframe. I thought it funny I had not heard him come down the stairs. He was smiling at us, but it did not show in his eyes.

He sat down and began eating the breakfast Calpurnia had set out for him earlier. "Mr. Finch?" Cal asked, hesitantly pushing open the kitchen door.

"Yes Cal," Atticus said, looking up at her while he wiped his mouth with a napkin.

"Can I come to the train station with you all to see off Mister Jem?"

"Of course!" Jem said.

"Thank you," Cal said, smiling fondly at the back of my brother's head. After we had finished our meal, she cleared the table, and lovingly ruffled Jem's hair, as she had done when we were children. Jem blushed, but was not angry.

Checking his pocket watch, Atticus said, "Son, I think it's time we leave." I could see Jem's jaw clench and his shoulders tense.

He suddenly relaxed and said, "Okay Atticus." He left the room quickly and returned with a brown bag filled with some clothes and books. I hoped he brought paper and pen, so he could write to us. "I'm ready," he said. He looked ready; he was wearing his uniform and his bag was slung over his shoulder with determination. Atticus nodded and we all headed out to the car, even Calpurnia.

It was a rather tight squeeze for all of us to fit it the car, but we managed. We would be returning with one less. The train station was a two-mile drive away from Maycomb County. I realized in despair I had not brought a book to read. I sighed and thought, _Oh well. _I entertained myself reading the sparse amount of sighs we passed on the road. One green sign read in bold white letters:

"Maycomb County Train Station

Just Ahead"

Though it was not in Maycomb, far from it actually, it shared a name with our humble county. I peered around Jem's head- he was sitting ahead of me- and saw it, my heart sinking at the sight of it. This was where my brother would be leaving us, for God knows how long. Without realizing it, tears had begun to surface. I hastily wiped them away and leaned back against my seat. Aunty was next to me, asleep and making very un-lady-like snoring sounds. I stifled a laugh. We entered the train station parking lot, and I saw many families that I knew; Mr. Walter Cunningham and his family, Cecil Jacobs with his parents and uptight Virginia, Eleanor and her parents- it seemed everyone in town was there. Sherriff Tate was there with his wife and his children. He had a son who was about Jem's age and would be joining up.

Jem hopped out of the car with as much energy as he had used when he ran up to touch Boo Radley's house; just as much fear, too. Atticus got out of the car too, so did Cal, Aunty and I. It had not been hard to rouse Aunt Alexandra from her sleep, though I thought it would have been more difficult, given the snoring she was doing. By the time I had woken up Aunty and gotten out of the car, Jem was already walking towards the station. I closed the car door and began running after him.

"Jem!" I called, catching up to him.

He smiled down at me. "Hey Scout." He seemed so normal, it was almost as if he wasn't leaving. I could see the spark of adventure in his eyes. He let out a breath and continued to walk, more briskly this time, with a new determination. I struggled to keep up with him as the crowds increased the closer we got to the train station. I reached out to grab his hand, and he gave mine a gentle squeeze. He pulled me through the crowd until we were facing the huge station. The large brick building loomed over us, casting a shadow on the crowd of gathering people.

After a few minutes of waiting while others streamed into the building, Atticus, Aunt Alexandra, and Calpurnia caught up with us. "What were you children thinking?" Aunty cried. "Running off like that!" I smirked. _Not very lady-like, Aunty._ Jem seemed to share the same thought, for a grin was crossing his face.

Then he saw her. Looking up, I saw her too; Eleanor was wearing a green dress that came to her knees and her brown hair was pushed behind her shoulders. She had a bag slung over her shoulder and she ran her fingers over the straps nervously. Once she saw Jem, her face lighted up, replacing her fear. _They really love each other, _I thought. "Can you guys go on inside?" Jem asked, not taking his eyes off Eleanor.

Aunty was going to refuse but Atticus held up his hand, cutting her off. She shot him a glare. 'Of course son," he said, and ushered us inside.

Watching through the glass doorways, I saw Jem take Eleanor in his arms and hug her. When I was younger, I found it gross, but now, I hardly minded. I didn't know why, I supposed it was because I could imagine myself acting like that. Jem grabbed her hand and led her inside. I quickly ran towards Cal so he wouldn't expect me of watching him.

"Hey Scout," Cal said, smiling at me like I was a child, though I was almost as tall as her.

"Hey Cal," I said, then looking off down the tracks, I cried, "Look yonder!" The train slowed its pace as it approached us, its whistle blowing the whole way. A part of me hoped it would completely miss our stop, though I knew that would not stop Jem from leaving. I had asked him why he couldn't stay home and let everyone else help, and he had replied, "I'm not going to stand around and not do a thing. Say a prayer and keep on walking, 'cause that don't do nothing." I drew in a breath; Jem had never questioned religion before. He waited for me to calm myself and then continued, "Do you know what that bastard's doing to the Jews over there? It's awful." I was shocked again. It was hard to imagine Jem calling anyone, even Hitler, a profanity. Then again, the war and the Holocaust had inspired quite a bit of anger in him.

Cal nodded and then looking behind me, said, "My God." I spun on my heels and was shocked as well; Jem was kneeling on the floor in front of Eleanor. _A proposal…_ Moving closer, I could hear them clearly.

"Eleanor, I love you. And, when I come back, I'll marry you," he was blushing furiously while Eleanor stared down at him lovingly. Gathering himself, Jem stood up and took her hand. He pulled out a strand of hair and tied it around one of her long, delicate fingers. "A promise." Eleanor stared at it dumbfounded, then, she looked back up to my brother. "It's symbolic," he explained. "It's okay if you lose it."

"In that case," she said, reaching up to pluck a strand of her own hair, "I will marry you, Jeremy Atticus Finch." My brother blushed at the use of his full name while she tied her hair around his finger. "I have something else for you." Drawing the bag off her shoulder, she dug around in it before pulling out a journal. "Write about it," she said placing it in his hands.

"Thanks," he said and he pulled her close for one more kiss. "I love you. So long."

"I love you too," she said. Jem turned and came towards us. He hugged me and Cal, and then moved to hug Atticus and Aunty. As Jem hugged Atticus, I heard our father whisper something. Something like, "courage."

As Jem walked away, I called after him, "I love you." He turned and smiled at me.

"I love you too Scout," he said back.

Remembering something else, I added, "I have my penny."

He pulled his out of his pocket and said, "So do I." Then, Jem was blending into the crowd. As the train pulled away, I waved with all my might, and wondered if my bother could even see me.


	5. Chapter 5

_Just because everything's changing, doesn't mean it's never been this way before._

_The Call_ by Regina Spektor

We returned later that day, after Atticus talked with Sheriff Tate and Aunty engaged in lively conversation with the other ladies present. I moved over to Eleanor, who was smiling through her obvious sadness; not only was Jem leaving, but so was her father. "My God," she muttered, "I'll miss him." I saw tears beginning to spill out of her blue eyes, but she wiped them away.

"So will I," I said. A moment later, I added, "What about your father?"

She was silent for a moment, biting her lip. "I'll miss Jem more," she admitted guiltily. I was looking for the words to respond when Atticus came and told me it was time for us to leave. I said goodbye to Eleanor and then headed out to the parking lot. We returned home with one less than when we had started out.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Cal gently shook me awake. "Scout," she said. "It's Monday." I groaned, but propped myself up on my elbows. I didn't realize that Cal had left until I heard the door shut behind her. Normally I would have gotten up to make sure Jem was awake, but then with a crumbling feeling, I told myself, _he's gone. _Gone. It was such a harsh, permanent word. I pulled myself out of my bed, my vision blurry with exhaustion. In a haze, I dressed myself in a coral-colored dress and ran a brush quickly through my hair. I ran downstairs and called, "Hey Atticus," as I sat down.

"'Morning Scout," he said, looking up from the paper to smile at me.

"Where's Aunty?" I asked, noting her absence at the table.

"Sleeping," Atticus replied.

"Still?" I cried.

"Jem's leaving has been hard on her," Atticus explained.

"Been hard on me to," I muttered, but then placed myself in Aunty's shoes. If my only nephew had gone away to war, I wouldn't wan tot get up either. Heck, I didn't even want to get up now.

"Thanks Cal," I said as she lay my breakfast down in front of me; sausage and biscuits. I ate it quickly so I could get to school. I carried my plate to the kitchen and quickly said goodbye to everyone. Slipping on my coat, I ran out the door.

The walk to school was a relatively short one, and I had become accustomed to walking there alone, ever since Jem had graduated. "Scout!" I heard someone call from behind me. I turned around and was surprised to see Cecil Jacobs running after me.

"Hey," I said, once he had caught up to us. "Did your Mama and Virginia leave?"

"Yeah," he replied, and then he began to snicker, which turned to uproarious laughter.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

"I saw your brother at the train station Saturday. With Eleanor Drigger!" I swung at him and my fist connected with his eye. I had nothing else to say, so I stormed off. I knew without looking that he was standing shocked in the middle of the street.

I could hear his footsteps once he had continued walking. I hoped he would get a black eye, so everyone could see that Scout Finch let him have it. His footsteps grew quicker and soon his hand was on my shoulder. "I spun around quickly and said, "What do you want?"

"I'm real sorry Scout," he said, running his fingers through his reddish hair. "'Bout what I said 'bout your brother. I know you miss him."

"It's okay," I said. Was Cecil Jacobs apologizing? And was I accepting it? Things sure were changing. I remembered a day when Cecil and I had been good friends. But then he started making fun of Dill.

"Well," he started abruptly, "we got to get on to school." He took off running. "Come on Scout! Or are you too much of a girl to run?"

_Now things are back to normal, _I thought, somewhat relieved. I tore down the street after him.

. . . . . . . . . . .

"Class," Miss Wells said, bringing her hand down on her desk. The booming sound quickly quieted us. "That's better," she said and printed GOVERNMENT in large bubble letters on the board. "Government. I am assigning you a group project…" She trailed off suddenly and asked, "Where's Walter Cunningham?"

We all shrugged, though we had a pretty good idea where he was. In my head, I could imagine the scrawny boy working on the farm where he had labored since he was five years old- maybe even younger than that. He did have a little brother, I remembered, but he could not have been much help. Miss Wells shrugged and marked down 'absent' next to Walter's name inside her book.

"Anyways," she continued. "I will be assigning you a project about government. You will write about the government in America, England, Germany, and Russia." Most of the class groaned, though I was excited by the idea. I had always loved school once I got to the high school. "You will be working in groups. Jean Louise and Cecil Jacobs," she said, drawing names out of a box. "Mary and Amelia." The two girls squealed in excitement; they were the best of friends. "Libby and Walter." She paired up the rest of the class in this fashion. During the remaining time before recess, we took books about governments off her shelves and took notes.

The bell rang and the class sprung out of their seats and rushed out of the stuffy classroom. I gathered up some books and exited along with the rest of them, saying, "Thank you, Miss Wells," as sweetly as I could.

I caught up with Cecil and said, "Want to come over to my house tonight?" After he gave a blank stare, I added, "To work on the project?"

"Oh. Sure," he said. "How 'bout I come over all this week so we can try and finish it up?"

"Fine," I said. "Five o'clock maybe?"

"Sure," he said and went off to play kickball. I turned and sat under a tree. Girls weren't supposed to play kickball. When I sat down, I heard Amelia, Mary, and Libby giggling beside me.

"What are you all laughing about?" I asked.

After exchanging glances with each other, Mary spoke up, saying, "He sure likes you."

"Did you see how he looks at you?" Libby inquired. I shook my head. "The way your brother looks at Eleanor Drigger." Amelia frowned at the comparison; everyone knew she was overly fond of Jem.

"You guys are wrong," I said, opening a book.

"No we're not!" Amelia cried. Lowering her voice to a whisper, she said, "Look yonder." I followed her gaze and saw Cecil, watching me. "Wave to him," she urged. Not knowing why I was obeying her, but I waved to him. He broke into a grin and waved back.

"See?" Mary hissed. I blushed and snapped my gaze down to the book I was holding. _I'm engaged, _I thought. I began thinking of Dill, remembering how he had kissed me last summer. My brain had been muddled for days afterwards… "See?" Mary asked again.

"No," I said firmly and began reading again. The girls shrugged their shoulders, and began talking amongst themselves.

I could hear snippets of their conversation. "I can't believe I got stuck with Walter Cunningham. He's so stupid," Libby complained.

"And dull," Mary added.

"My mother says he complete trash," Amelia proclaimed. "And I agree with her." That was it. Something inside me snapped and I quickly rose to my feet.

"Take that back!" I said, shocking them all.

"What do you care?" Mary asked.

"That boy isn't trash. Not like the Ewells," I said. Mary narrowed her eyes. I thought she was saying 'Who are you to question me.' Why else would she be angered by a comment about the Ewells?

I hardly remembered what happened next. After more snappy comments from the three girls under the tree, I was screaming, tears streaming down my face.

"D'you suppose she has a thing with Walter Cunningham?" Amelia whispered. I had hardly calmed myself, and went to lunge at her, but strong arms, wrapped around my stomach, held me back.

"Jem?" I whispered, remembering all the times Jem had pulled me away from fights and danger.

"No," Cecil Jacobs said, pulling me away. I fought against him and tried to kick him, but to no avail.

"Damnit, she's crazy," someone said. I hastily wiped tears from my eyes.

"Did Miss Wells hear me?" I asked.

"Don't see how she couldn't," Cecil said from behind me. His voice in my ear caused me to shiver.

"Damn," I said. "Atticus will kill me if he hears about this." Becoming bored, the crowd dispersed, leaving just me and Cecil.

Releasing me, he said, "Sorry." He was blushing, and I could feel that I was too. "What did they say?"

"They called Walter Cunningham trash," I said, and I saw Cecil's fists clenching. "They also called him dull and stupid."

"I'll get them," Cecil said vengefully.

"I know you will," I said, just as the bell rang.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The school day finally ended, and I walked home. I was embarrassed about school, and how I had screamed at Libby, Mary, and Amelia, and finally, Cecil's arms around me. I prayed Atticus had not been told.

I walked into my house and called, "Hey Cal." I went into the kitchen and saw her working on dinner.

"Good afternoon Scout," she said and smiled fondly at me. "How was school?"

"Fine," I lied. The fib tasted sour on my tongue.

"Really?" Cal asked. "Because I heard…" she told me the story that she had heard from Libby Maguire. I clenched my fists. _That girl…_ "Is it true Scout?" Cal inquired, breaking me from my thoughts of revenge.

"Yessum," I said, my eyes on the floor.

"Scout!" she cried, "You can't go around screaming every time things don't go your way."

"But you should've heard what they said about Walter Cunningham!" I protested.

"Walter Cunningham? They didn't tell me anything about him. They said they were talking about how you liked Cecil Jacobs," Cal said.

"What?" I demanded. I was anxious to get out of that room, go anywhere. Then, I heard a knock at the door.

/

So… what do you think? Feel free to give me suggestions in reviews or PMs.


	6. Chapter 6

_"No other path, no other way."_

_No Day But Today _by the RENT cast

I was startled by the knock at the door, but was pleased for the excuse to leave the room. "I'll get it," I told Cal and left the room and opened the screen door. "Hey Cecil."

"Hi Scout," he said, steeping in, rather awkwardly. "Sorry 'bout today."

"It's nothing," I said quickly, not eager to discuss it. "Do you want to come sit in there? I have some books upstairs." I led him into the living room and hurried upstairs. I grabbed the books out of my room and returned to see Cecil standing in the middle of the room, looking around.

"I got some notes I took earlier," he said, pulling a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "I don't know if they're any good." He offered them to me.

I took the paper and read over it quickly. "These are fine," I said, handing it back to him.

"Okay," he said, a grin breaking across his face. I sat down on the couch and he followed me. "I guess we ought to start with the introductory paragraph," he said, sitting down beside me.

"Yeah," I said and pulled a piece of paper out of my folder.

"I got a pencil," Cecil said, handing me a yellow #1 pencil with noticeable teeth marks on it.

"Thanks," I said and placed the pencil to paper. No words came to mind.

"Should we start with a thesis or something?" Cecil asked, watching me intently. When I turned my head to look at him, his gaze was quickly averted.

"Yep," I said, and then, "sorry if I'm scaring you."

"What?" He looked surprised.

"Whenever I look at you, you look away like you've seen a ghost," I said. _Maybe they were right. Maybe he does like me,_ I quickly shook away the thought.

"Like I saw Boo Radley," Cecil said, grinning broadly. _He really is a fool,_ I thought, somewhat disappointed.

"Cecil!" I cried, angry that he would mock my friend. "It's not true. All those things they say."

"How would you know, Miss Scout?" he asked, mockingly.

"Because I…" I trailed off. I couldn't tell him. _Let the dead bury the dead._

"You what?" His blue eyes were piercing mine and I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks.

"Nothing. Let's get back to the project," I said, and turned back to the book.

"All right," he said. "So anyways… Russia's fascist, right?" I sighed.

. . . . . . . . . . .

The next few days passed in that fashion; Libby, Mary, and Amelia giggled when I was around and Cecil came by everyday to work on the project, each day watching me a little more intently. The void I felt at Jem's absence did not fill. If anything, it grew. I began to go and see Eleanor when I could. She seemed to be my only connection to Jem, and she must have thought the same about me. It was as if the dreams Jem had whispered to her still lingered in her ear and his arms were still around her. If anyone could have an ounce of Jem in them, it was her.

"Hey, Scout," she said one day, opening the screen door to let me in. "Did you just get out of school?"

"Yeah," I said. "After this I got to go and pick up Cecil Jacobs."

"Oh really?" Eleanor asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Not like that," I muttered. She was teasing me just like Jem did. "For a school project."

"All right. Scout, do you want to go on a picnic by Barker's Eddy this Saturday? I'm leaving for the factories next week," she said.

"Okay," I said, perking up at the idea. When Jem and I were younger, we used to go out there to swim. Jem told me once that, before Mama died, she would pack a picnic lunch and take Jem out there, before I was born.

She led me into the kitchen and poured a glass of milk. "Thanks," I said. _She's a lot like a mother_, I thought fondly. I don't have any memories of my mother, except the sound of her fingers running over piano keys. We still had that piano. It sat in the corner of the living room, collecting dust. Occasionally Jem would play a quick melody.

"How was school?" she asked, pouring a cup for herself.

"All right," I said.

"Are those girls getting you down?"

"Yeah," I said. "Yeah."

"Don't let them bother you."

"I try not to. But when they aren't bothering me, they're gossiping about someone else. I got to fight 'em," I said, enthusiastically.

"As your brother says," Eleanor began, "hold your head high and be a gentleman."

I smiled at that piece of advice. I looked up, grinning, at Eleanor and saw a deep sadness lurking in her eyes. "You okay?" I asked, and I knew how she would respond.

"I'm fine," she said. "Can you go Scout? I've got some work to do." Her words were shaky and her breath ragged. I nodded weakly, and soon found myself on the sidewalk outside.

Deciding it was best to go pick up Cecil to work on the project, I turned left and continued down the street, passing my own house on the way. Once I reached Cecil's house I jumped onto the porch and knocked on the door. When he opened the door, Cecil looked surprised. "Hi," he said. "Why are you here?"

"The project," I said. "Where is your mother? Where's Virginia?"

"In the city," he said quietly.

"Cecil! You're fourteen! You can't be alone this long!" I cried. "Come on boy," I said and grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait," he said, spinning me around to face him. Our faces were a foot apart and his eyes were blazing. My breath quickened and I could tell his was too. "I got to lock the door," he told me, awkwardly, and ran to the door, turning his house key in the lock. I sighed. _Just overreacting, _I told myself.

He rejoined me on the sidewalk and we headed back to my house. "Do you want to stay at my house?" I asked.

"Um… I don't know," he said, looking at his feet. He kicked a stone ahead of him.

"It isn't any problem. Honest," I said.

"Okay, if it's okay with your daddy," Cecil told me.

"It will be," I reassured him. "Anyways, Russia's communist. Germany's fascist. England's a monarchy and America's a democracy. Any questions?"

To my surprise, he laughed. Well, the fact that Cecil Jacobs was laughing was not uncommon, just the fact that he was laughing appreciatively at something _I _had said. Around here, Cecil made the jokes. "None really," he said, in between bouts of uproarious laughter. "Thanks for clarifying."

"No problem," I mumbled. We reached my house and went in. Atticus was sitting in an armchair in the living room, reading the paper. "Hey Atticus," I said.

"Hello Mr. Finch," Cecil said quietly.

Looking up from his paper, my father greeted us. "Hello Scout, hello Cecil. Are you going to work on your project?"

"Well actually Atticus," I started, "can Cecil stay here for awhile? While his mother and sister are in Birmingham?"

"Yes. Of course," Atticus said. "Cecil, you can stay in Jem's room." I felt a sudden pang. _How could anyone else stay there? _I thought. _How could anyone replace Jem?_

"Thank you sir," Cecil said. "I'd have to go back to my house to get some clothes and things."

"All right," Atticus said. "Scout, could you go with him? Supper will be ready soon."

"Yessir," I said, and followed Cecil out the door and down the street to his house. He unlocked the door and steeped inside, me right after him.

"Sorry. It's kind of messy," he apologized.

"You've been living here alone for nearly a week," I said.

"It's only Thursday," he replied. "They left Sunday morning."

"Still a pretty long time. I can't keep my room clean for a day." He led the way to his room and pulled out a small backpack. He pulled open his drawers and piled some clothes into the bag, struggling to zip it all the way.

"Let's go," he said, turning to face me, the backpack slung over his shoulder.

"All right," I said, and started walked towards the front door, Cecil on my heels. He locked the door behind him, and I waited on the porch steps until he finished. He ran down to meet me and we continued back home. "I bet dinner's ready," I said, to no one in particular.

"Sorry I took too long," Cecil said guiltily.

"I didn't mean that to make you feel bad," I said quickly. "Just to make conversation."

"Oh. Sorry," Cecil apologized again.

"Why do you keep on saying sorry?"

"I don't know. Just nervous, I guess." He shrugged.

"Nervous 'bout what?"

"Nothing," he replied.

"Really?"

"Nothing that's important," he said. "Nothing you need to know."

His second response bothered me. I was formulating a threat in my mind, but then thought, _He'll be staying with us for a while, best not to anger him. Besides, Cecil can pull a good prank. _"All right," I said, shrugging. We returned to the house, this time making pleasant conversation.

Cal ushered us to the table, hissing in my ear, "You're late." Aunt Alexandra and Atticus sat at the table, talking, but looked up when we came in.

"Hello," Aunty said, greeting Cecil and I. I settled into my chair and Cecil took a seat beside me, in Jem's old chair.

"Hello ma'am," Cecil said, eagerly starting on the meal Cal had prepared; a meatloaf with mashed potatoes.

I slowly ate my meal, many thoughts running through my head. _What will it be like with Cecil living here? Will Jem be okay? What if Libby, Mary, and Amelia are right? _I all ready had an answer for the last question. They were: Cecil Jacobs liked me.

"How was school, Scout?" Atticus asked me.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I responded, "Fine."

"Cecil will be staying with us for a while because his mother and sister are in Birmingham," Atticus explained to Aunty.

"Ah…" she said. "How lovely." She was so prim, that to the untrained eye it would appear as if she really cared. I glanced at Cecil, and it was apparent that he believed her façade. I remembered once long ago when Aunty had called his mother a climber…

"How's the project?" Atticus asked.

"It's going good," Cecil said, and I saw Aunty pursing her lips, eager to correct his grammar.

"We're almost finished," I added.

"That's good," Aunty said. "Maybe, once you finish, we could go shopping some time." Cecil started laughing. I shot him a death glare. "I don't see how that's funny," Aunty said.

"Sorry ma'am," Cecil spluttered, now to the giggling stage.

"You sound like a little girl," I muttered, nudging him in the ribs. _It's like Jem and I…_

Atticus seemed amused by the situation. He leaned back, and watched us all, as if we were under scrutiny in a courtroom. "Scout, don't hurt him. He's a guest."

"Sorry," I said. I wondered what Atticus would've said if he had seen me hit Cecil earlier. I glanced at his eye and could see a large purplish bruise forming over it.

Atticus seemed to realize too. "What happened to your eye?" I knew I was overreacting, but I felt a sudden ripping pain at how my father addressed Cecil. It was as if he were saying, _"Where are you pants, son?"_

"My eye?" Cecil asked. My mind converted it to, "_Pants_?" I sighed. "Oh, my eye!" Cecil said. "I got in a fight at school."

I was shocked. _Was he covering for me? _I wondered. It appeared he was, and when I wondered why, Mary's voice answered me in my head. "Oh," Atticus said, for once not pressing for more information.

After dinner, I finished with my other homework. I also silently prepared myself for the daunting thought of Cecil Jacobs joining this household.

/

What do you think? If you have any suggestions, feel free to PM me or put it in a review! Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N I'm so sorry! I want to apologize to every reader and reviewer for not updating sooner. I went to camp for three weeks, got a new computer and I had to wait to get Word installed on it… but my main excuse is that I'm lazy. I want to apologize especially to Tiftaf02387 because I promised I would update "today or tomorrow". So… I'm a liar. I really hope you all find this chapter satisfactory.**

** . . . . . . . . . . .**

I walked off my porch and into the warming sun and headed off towards Eleanor's house. I hadn't seen her since she almost cried just a few days before, so I had asked Miss Maudie to help me make a Lane cake for the occasion.

Stepping onto Eleanor's porch, I knocked on the door. I waited nervously for a second, tugging at the hem of my yellow dress. Yes, Aunt Alexandra had won the battle that morning. The door was answered by Mrs. Drigger. "Good morning!" I said cheerfully. "Is Eleanor here?"

"No," she snapped. "Now get out of 'ere." The door was abruptly slammed in my face. I considered knocking again, to ask why she had lied. I had seen Eleanor inside, standing over the kitchen counter, a letter in her hand and tears in her eyes.

_What's going on? _I wondered, but eventually turned in the direction of home. "Hey Scout!" I heard someone call from behind me. I quickly turned to see Walter.

"Hi," I greeted, letting him catch up to me.

"Hi. Have you seen Cecil? I went to his house but no one was there," he said.

"He's at my house," I replied. Then, an idea struck me. "Do you want to have a picnic at Barker's Eddy? I was goin' to go with Eleanor but she's not feelin' well."

"Umm, alright," he replied. With that, I linked my arm in his and we headed to the pond.

. . . . . . . . . . .

"So," I began, cutting another piece of Lane cake for Walter. He looked up, gesturing for me to continue. "Cecil's been acting weird lately. What's wrong with him?"

Walter suddenly froze. "N-nothin'. Boy stuff, you wouldn't get it," he said. How tired I was of hearing that excuse! _You wouldn't understand. You wouldn't get it. Wait 'til you're older. _

"Tell me," I demanded.

"It's nothin' important," he rushed.

"Yeah it is. Now tell me!"

"No."

"Yes," I insisted.

"Fine," Walter said quietly. "He likes you… a lot." His voice was just above a whisper but I heard him all the same. I bit my lip, nervous as hell. "You asked to hear it!" Walter cried.

"Yeah I know," I said, standing up and brushing off my skirt. "You can keep the rest of the Lane cake," I told him and left. I felt bad about abandoning him there, but my mind was too occupied by other things. _Cecil likes me._ I had already known the fact, but hearing it from Walter made it so sickeningly true. I thought back to Dill and then Cecil. Things had become so confusing. I thought back to when I was younger. When I was marrying Dill and that was that. And when Jem was here. I sighed, those days were past.

Working my way back to my house, I slumped down on the porch step, my head in my hands. If only I could ask Dill or Jem for advice. But Jem was far overseas and Dill wouldn't be here for months.

I thought for a few moments. Cecil and Dill both liked me, but the latter was my fiancé. I thought back to a summer evening long ago, when I was seven years old.

_"I'm so happy you're back, Dill," I said, sitting next to my best friend in Miss Rachel's collard patch, my knees pulled up to my chest._

_ "I am too," he said, smiling at me. "I really miss you back in Meridian." He slowly encased my hand in his._

_ "If only you could stay here forever," I smiled at the lovely thought. I looked over at Dill to see him fidgeting uncomfortably. "What's wrong?" _

_ "Well Scout, I got something to ask you," I looked at him expectedly, urging him to continue. "D'you want to get married someday?" He ran his hand through his duck fluff hair as he awaited my reply._

_ "To you?" He nodded. "'course Dill!" I replied, beaming. He returned my smile. "I promise," I added._

_ "I promise too," he said, and with that, leant over a kissed my on the cheek. He pulled away, embarrassed, and hopped up, running into the house, calling "G'night!" over his shoulder. _

_ I smiled, putting my hand to my cheek, where he had kissed me._

I grinned at that happy memory. After all, a promise is a promise.

. . . . . . . . . . .

**A/N: I hope you all liked that chapter. I'm sorry for the shortness of it. Did you like the flashback? I thought it was pretty cute. Anyways, please review!**


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